Where I stood
by Lostliveson4eva
Summary: Song-fic. Where I stood by Missy Higgens. It's about how Katniss felt the need to leave Gale. R&R!


_I don't know what I've done_  
_Or if I like what I've begun_  
_But something told me to run_  
_And honey you know me it's all or none_

I didn't mean to start the rebellion, it just happened. It wasn't something I could control. I don't know where it started: maybe it was with the berries, or even when Prim's name was chosen and I volunteered, either way I did it. Now I can't stop it, and I'm not quite sure I want to. It's just the way it has to be.

_There were sounds in my head_  
_Little voices whispering_  
_That I should go and this should end_  
_Oh and I found myself listening_

Us being free isn't the only thing that changed. I also lost him- my best friend. Well, he was my best friend. Now we don't see each other and I'm sorry to say that I'm relived. I'm horrible for saying that, but it's true. I had to leave him, I couldn't take looking at his face and seeing her- my Prim. I can't get rid of the fact that it was his bomb, at least that's what it seems like. We don't know for sure, but I can only guess that it was. So I ended our friendship.

_'Cos I dont know who I am, who I am without you_  
_All I know is that I should_  
_And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you_  
_All I know is that I should_  
_'Cos she will love you more than I could_  
_She who dares to stand where I stood_

He's probably already forgotten about me, and if he hasn't he should. It pains me though, to think about him forgetting me. Someone will love him more than I could though. He deserves more than me. He should have someone who can love him back just as much as she loves him. Someone who deserves him too.

_See I thought love was black and white_  
_That it was wrong or it was right_  
_But you ain't leaving without a fight_  
_And I think I am just as torn inside_

I don't know if he wanted to leave to live in District Two. He was just giving me some space, something I desperately needed. Even though I was glad to have him gone, it still pains me to lose my best friend. It hurts when I think of him, even though it was me who sent him away.

_'Cos I dont know who I am, who I am without you_  
_All I know is that I should_  
_And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you_  
_All I know is that I should_  
_'Cos she will love you more than I could_  
_She who dares to stand where I stood_

I was myself with Gale, now I'm someone new whom I don't even know. Maybe in time I will find out and discover myself, but for now, I'm lost. He will hold someone else, kiss someone else's lips. That girl who will replace me will love him, I just couldn't do it. I couldn't be near him knowing I was hurting him. I just couldn't stand it any longer.

_And I won't be far from where you are if ever you should call_  
_You meant more to me than anyone I ever loved at all_  
_But you taught me how to trust myself and so I say to you_  
_This is what I have to do_

If the day ever comes where I see him again, I'll try to put the bad memories behind me. He taught me how to be a better me and for that I'm grateful. I couldn't have had a better best friend than him. He taught me how to trust others and myself. He taught me how to be open and free- something I thought was impossible for me. I wont forget him, how could I? I loved him like family, and at some point more, I just didn't know how much more. That's where everything went wrong, but this is what has to be done.

_'Cos I don't know who I am, who I am without you_  
_All I know is that I should_  
_And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you_  
_All I know is that I should_  
_'Cos she will love you more than I could_  
_She who dares to stand where I stood_  
_Oh, she who dares to stand where I stood _

Someday I will know who I truly am, and someday Gale will fall in love with some other woman. She will be there for him, and he will be there for her. They will start a family and maybe someday he will forget about how I hurt him, and I'll forget about how he hurt me. For now, I wish him happiness; love. I hope she loves him and that she doesn't hurt him. I hope she is kind to him and trustworthy. I hope she can get him to smile and laugh, just like I could.

She who dares to stand where I stood.


End file.
